Everyone Loves Babies & Clowns

 It is dangerous to linger around haunt prop seller sites this time of year.  All sorts of props seem to get rationalized and purchased at 2am.  With that in mind, I present to you my first foray into the evil possessed baby category. 

 

 

He is a crude puppet that is meant to be held like a real baby before attacking a guest.  Unfortunately, nothing moves, other than to turn one's hand and the puppet's cloth body allows the head to sort of turn.  While I may use it as a hand puppet on Halloween night a few times... it will likely spend more time as a static prop in the cemetery.  Overall, not a bad purchase. 

 

-----

 

I am a sucker for a good smile.  And while my wife would contend that I have more than enough evil clown masks to be used as static props (she is not a fan), I believe there is always room for one more in the scene.  I think the kids will really appreciate this one. 

 

 

2015: The Year of the Walkthrough Display

Age protections will not be in effect.  Everyone gets it this year.

 

 

 

I have done a modest display one year, a haphazard (emphasis on hazard) interactive display another year, and a full garage and yard walkthrough with a front graveyard during the last two years.  I am expecting even larger crowds this year.  With that in mind, I will forego the full garage walkthrough, and instead use my large circular (oblong?) front driveway as a two sided, wide walkthrough for the family hordes.  Few punches will be pulled.  Props that were relegated to last year's walkthrough to protect the youngest TOTs will be on display and possibly active in the front where all must pass through.  If kids and sensitive parents get damaged... they can just get over it later.  Actors will be roaming, when not doing the TOT assist.  Lighting and animated props will be in effect.  If all goes well... shit will get real.  The biggest challenges are the everpresent late October winds savaging my foam-based graveyard and hanging props... and my procrastination in getting those foam-based props ready in time for the show.

 

2015:  No Theme.... Four Scenes!

 

Although last year had a theme, and next year will too, the masses will have to forgive the lack of one this year.  I doubt that most will notice.   There should be so much going on visually, that there should be no time to really think about it. 

 

The Scenes:

 

1)  El Paso Driving Tour Station

(Ticket booth, Huge Buick filled with evil clowns, lots of effects)

 

2)  Grim Road Cemetery

(updated gravestones and tombs, con La Llorona)

 

3)  Zombie Cage

(people love zombies and I have many.. so why not)

 

4)  Spider Alley

(mostly a roof-mounted projection with lots of props)

 

 

I hope to have a few masks and costumes ready to change into every hour to be able to scare those TOTs that are doing laps around the neighborhood.  If all goes well, others will join in to help with the display / cue line acting.  I am expecting easily 1,500 TOTs.  I haven't decided if the media will be invited to grab a 10 second spot to air later that night.  We will keep it running until around 9pm, weather permitting. 

The September Stall-out

Progress has been halted due to technical difficulties...

 

 

Mid-September, and prop progress has stalled-out... as expected.  This is the time of year when all of those plans run up against the harsh reality that it is still too hot to be leaning over a foam sheet, inhaling its' dust while trying to do necessary engraving on headstones, etc...

 

However, the impulse prop purchasing has been going and a financially debilitating pace, so that finding a place for it all will be a challenge... and explaining the credit card balance to one's spouse will be awkward.

 

Hopefully, I will have some pics to share soon.  My orders should start trickling in this week.  Masks, wall props, puppets (they were on sale... don't judge me), and other stuff.

 

Now, I just need to figure out how to make a dozen crude but effective standing body forms to mount zombie masks on.  Also, time management and project completion.... I should probably make some attempt at that.

 

Stay creepy.

Babysitter Wanted

I get ideas for my haunt by watching a lot of horror movies.  Most are not good (Netflix)... but the few that keep my attention deserve a mention. So the following review will hopefully be the first of many posted here throughout the year.

 

TLDR:  An interesting 80s style horror movie with good acting (except the boy... but that is to be expected), thankfully non-80s dialogue, and the right dose of gore... so that one cringes during the action scenes without getting desensitized.  It does do things that most horror fans will expect, but it stayed interesting enough to have me return to it after being interrupted a few times during the viewing.  Should have replay value even after knowing all of the twists.  4.5 of 5

-------

A slightly longer review:  This movie plays on the fear of being new and mostly friendless, of being trapped far from help, of creepy priests, and the fear of being passed through the digestive tract of a child.  And while most horror fans will see the many twists' headlights coming around each corner a few minutes before each reveal, it doesn't hurt the film.  Horror doesn't lose point for being derivative.  It loses points for being boring.  Fortunately, this film wasn't boring.  And it didn't have to rely on senseless gore and nudity to achieve that.  The gore we see hurts.  Most viewers will likely cringe in a few parts, but it serves the story...so it is not merely gore-porn.  The dialogue is to the point too, with only one section full of a boasting villain engaging in some exposition.  But the acting is good, so that can be forgiven.  All of the adults have fun with their roles.  The child actor... not so much.

 



That kid seemed to have been given a 1 minute compilation video of the child from the original The Shining as inspiration... and then just kept replaying the REDRUM part in between takes.   But horror fans are likely used to seeing a few stiff performances by child actors without ruining the movie.  I will put the blame on his coach.  Kids are plenty creepy to me in real life.  It is when they are told to be creepy that they seem to then just go stiff and dull.  If the twist ending had been that he was an interstellar alien in a human skin that had recently landed on Earth, I would have said the kid nailed the role.

The big question.... will you be scared?  Likely not.  But you will be curious to see where the ride is going and to see if the heroine survives.  One never can tell in horror.  And if you let yourself, you will be tense in a few parts and will cringe during the big fight scene.  The concept is scary, with acting performances that serve the script well.  And since the movie does so many things right for the genre, you will forgive the very few holes... such as how does one help another walk while having a deep axe wound in their own back (???).  Or who the hell called the cops?  But this is horror... not a history documentary.  So us horror fans are used to this too.  I definitely suggest this movie to fans of 80s horror.  And I suspect that I will see most of these actors in other projects. 

The pet peeve that made me swear at the screen that will be the slightest of SPOILERS is the obsession in horror films with setting up a sequel.  Why can't a horror movie just end?  Why must there almost always be a wink, or a hand reach out, or a "we can't find the body" ending?  Is there really a need for a Babysitter Wanted 2?  How about, "that was intense and jacked up, but it is over now.  Good luck with having a normal life and here is a card for a local PTSD counselor." [end rant]

While I do not think that any big parts of this movie will find its way into my haunt (maybe some of the gore barn setting as inspiration), I do not regret watching it.  That cannot be said of  >50%  of what I see in the horror section of Netflix.  I legitimately liked it.  Hopefully, this movie will get picked up by Netflix to improve its stable.  In the meantime, give the movie a chance and spend the $3 on Vimeo. 

 

https://vimeo.com/ondemand/38763/128208085

 

 

 

Overall rating:  4.5 of 5